And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This toilet bowl is my home.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
