I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
