she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
