yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm at about main and main street
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
