she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
