well you can't waste a boner
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
