I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
