I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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