Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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