It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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