I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
