shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
