piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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