I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
