you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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