How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
