im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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