That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
