I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
