I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
