he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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