Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
be right there i have to get my cape
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
