every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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