And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
