I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
