i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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