And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
