Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
