So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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