if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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