there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I touched a dick in church today
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
