He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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