I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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