I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
me + whiskey = a bad person
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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