I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
