i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
