Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i now understand why vodka
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
