Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
