I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
