I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
