"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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