So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
