I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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