Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
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