I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
