Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
