oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The adults are the big ones right?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
