What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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