I bet he comes in French.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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