The maid of honor just puked.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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