They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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